dragonfly
08-09-2005, 11:10 AM
What do you call a Chav in a box?
Innit.
What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted.
What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe.
What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
Innuinnit.
Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of
stairs.
What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.
If you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike.
What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
What you lookin' at?"
How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it.
2 Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police.
Where do you take a Chavette for a decent night out?
Up the arse.
What's the most confusing day of the year for a Chav?
Fathers Day!
What do chavs use as protection during sex?
A bus shelter
Angry Chav
At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge Chav male, 6ft 5in
tall and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed and
obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers, the
gay fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big
Chavster. Leaning over, he cups his huge ear "Do you want a blow
job?" he whispers. At this, the Chav leaps up with fire
in his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool,
he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally he leaves
him badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if nothing
had happened. Amazed the bartender quickly brings over another beer.
"I've never seen you react like that" he says "Just what did he say to
you?" "I'm not sure" the Chav replies. "Something about a job."
Why is a chav like a slinky??
They have no real use but its fun to watch them fall down the stairs
Job Huntimg Chav
A chav walks into the local job centre, marches straight up to the counter and said "Hi, I'm looking for a job".
The man behind the counter replies "Your timing is amazing. We've just got one in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around a big black Mercedes and wear the uniform provided. The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on their overseas holidays. The salary package is £200,000 a year".
The chav says "You're having me on!"
The man behind the counter says "Well you started it!"
Innit.
What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted.
What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe.
What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
Innuinnit.
Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of
stairs.
What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.
If you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike.
What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
What you lookin' at?"
How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it.
2 Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police.
Where do you take a Chavette for a decent night out?
Up the arse.
What's the most confusing day of the year for a Chav?
Fathers Day!
What do chavs use as protection during sex?
A bus shelter
Angry Chav
At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge Chav male, 6ft 5in
tall and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed and
obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers, the
gay fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big
Chavster. Leaning over, he cups his huge ear "Do you want a blow
job?" he whispers. At this, the Chav leaps up with fire
in his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool,
he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally he leaves
him badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if nothing
had happened. Amazed the bartender quickly brings over another beer.
"I've never seen you react like that" he says "Just what did he say to
you?" "I'm not sure" the Chav replies. "Something about a job."
Why is a chav like a slinky??
They have no real use but its fun to watch them fall down the stairs
Job Huntimg Chav
A chav walks into the local job centre, marches straight up to the counter and said "Hi, I'm looking for a job".
The man behind the counter replies "Your timing is amazing. We've just got one in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around a big black Mercedes and wear the uniform provided. The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on their overseas holidays. The salary package is £200,000 a year".
The chav says "You're having me on!"
The man behind the counter says "Well you started it!"