Dan
22-07-2003, 06:28 PM
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the
time....I know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours?
Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the
entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV
and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and
eat it too". F*cking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of
course it is. Why the f*ck would you keep looking after you've found
it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?".
No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at
the f*cking floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really
give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If
it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an
improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the f*ck?? Life is
the longest damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What can you do
that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has
the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here,
Kn*b head?
10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used
to be'. So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?
11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that
nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks
that's an image I really didn't need.
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't
insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It's has
to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger get blank looks.
Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you f*cking
McTosser.
14. When you involved in a accident and someone asks 'are you
alright?' Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be
off.
time....I know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours?
Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the
entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV
and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and
eat it too". F*cking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of
course it is. Why the f*ck would you keep looking after you've found
it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?".
No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at
the f*cking floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really
give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If
it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an
improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the f*ck?? Life is
the longest damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What can you do
that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has
the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here,
Kn*b head?
10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used
to be'. So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?
11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that
nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks
that's an image I really didn't need.
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't
insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It's has
to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger get blank looks.
Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you f*cking
McTosser.
14. When you involved in a accident and someone asks 'are you
alright?' Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be
off.