Chat Up Lines

[Tark]

Lets have all your best chat up lines..

I will start with....

"Is that a tic tac in your knickers or are you just pleased to see me??"

[Lateshift]

Hi, my name is Mick

Are you wet yet? :D

[Ride-or-die]

hi my sister is decorating her house and i was just wondering what you think the best colour is to paint a living room?

[winjaninja]

Do you take it up the wrong 'un?

[Tark]

Is there a mirror in your pants as I can sure see myself in them

[Robocobb]

Do you sleep on your stomach? No! Do you mind if I do?

[FACESLIDER]

God you have a pretty face, but it would look prettier with my B***ocks on your chin:grin2
Do you fancy a shag, No, then would you mind lying down why I have one,

[FACESLIDER]

Nice legs, what time do they open:grin2 :grin2

[r6paul]

Hi i work for wonderbra, we're doing free spot checks to make sure that our customers are wearing the right size bras.... please breath out once my hands are in place!


Want to come back to mine for a pizza and a shag? NO!! o why? dont you like pizzza?



Hi, you make me feel like a squirrell. Mind if i pile my nutz up against you?

[chromium05]

do you want to go halves on a bastard?

[Lateshift]

Madam, i am a crime prevention officer and can i interest you in a free backdoor security check? :D

[Roadhog]

"would you like to do some magic?"
and when she asks "how do you mean?"
you reply with "well you come back to mine,we shag and then you disappear!"

Ade

[crescent750]

"Do you have any Irish in you?". No!.
"Would you like some?".

"Do you have any Irish in you?". Yes.
"Do ya want some more?".

[beanboy]

Hi I'm a ventriquist let me put my hand up your skirt and make your lips move.http://www.essexbikers.co.uk/forum/images/icons/icon12.gif

[harriebird]

1. dip your fingers in your drink/lick your fingers
2. touch their shirt/top etc
3.say "let me help you out of those wet clothes" with a very cheeky smile :grin2

[beanboy]

Iv'e always wondered what I would look like with a beard could you help?:grin3

[S Boy]

The word for today is leg's so spread the word ! :laugh2

[r6paul]

Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got fine written all over you



Is your surname gillette? Because your the best a man can get

[Tark]

Are you from Jamaica? Cos Jamaicin me horny.

[Roadhog]

"the more i drink the better you look,fancy a f*#k?"

Ade

[MICKTLS]

Hi ya how do you ;like you eggs and what paper do you read lol dont forget tomorrow is wed

[Roadhog]

I like your dress,it would look great on my bedroom floor

Ade

[Shorty]

Lets go to my place and do the things ill tell everyone we did anyway ;)

[Shorty]

If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together

[Roadhog]

i am gonna shag you 1 way or the other tonight,so you might aswell be there

Ade

[richy rich]

"how d'you like you're eggs?... Scrambled or fertilised?"

[stu600cc]

Fancy a f u c k?

Do you wanna come see my lizard?

You've got a nice face mind if i f u c k it?

[Juvenilerider]

i am gonna shag you 1 way or the other tonight,so you might aswell be there

Ade

That's the funniest one!!

[Shorty]

I Miss my teddy bear.......would you sleep with me?

[winjaninja]

Nice cold sore

[beanboy]

Just get some business cards made up with sex therapist on and hand her one, or conversly the statement Iv'e been struck dumb by your beauty, please write your telephone number on the back of the card and I will definately give you a call with a smile.

[Unstable_Table]

Me.......your 2 perfect breasts sounds like PIMMS o'clock

Would you like one ?

[Unstable_Table]

Do you spit or swallow ?

[Tark]

"My mate over there wants to know if you think I'm Fit"

[SDM]

Would you like to spend the weekend on my Boat................if YES, point to your Face.....................:laugh2 :laugh2

[Jcaller]

You dont sweat much for a fat bird

[Roadhog]

Hello.... as long as i have a face you will always have somewhere to sit.

Ade

[SDM]

Oi sugar.....................not you the other lump.

[Roadhog]

Approach the female and ask... "Can i smell your fanny?"
And if she says no you reply with... "it must be the drains then!"

Ade

[Unstable_Table]

your sister said she was a better shag than you

[Roadhog]

A put down line for the ladies... if a man comes up to you and asks
"will you sit on my face?"
you reply with...
"Why? is your nose bigger than your knob?"

Ade

P.S. that has never been said to me http://www.airsoftcommunity.co.uk/forums/style_emoticons/default/blink.gif (javascript:emoticon(':blink:', 'smid_13'))

[DJMCJERICO]

OK I'm here, What were your other two wishes!

Here's 10p, call your mum and tell her your not coming home tonight!

Your eyes are like spanners, they make my nuts tight!

[kasandrich]

Would you like to swap one of your orgasms for one of mine?

[lordswood army]

Excuse me i seem to have lost my mobile number. May i have yours??
( Its all about bein polite. lol)

[2E]

Heres my input

Not all of these will work:reading

Hey dont i know you from the bus? :laugh2

My mum has that same dress!:grin1

Wanna see a trick i learnt in prison?

How much were your breasts?

Are you drunk or is that just a lazy eye! :laugh1

My Tool needs a shed. :grin2

id like to park my corrective shoes underneath your bed.:grin3

You think its impressive now, this colesaws just getting started!:laugh2

Mind if i hang out here until its safe back where i farted? :laughboun


AND THE FINALE!

Excuse me for interupting and im not trying to make a pass, but you must be leaving the country if your packing that much ass! :laugh1

[Doninha Princesa]

Hmmm, tooey, are you by any chance.... single? wouldnt be surprised if u are with lines like that!

Almost as good as my boss sayin "i like ur leathers, but they do make ur bum look big"

"Errrrmmm Thanks Oz, no surprise your still single, now stop looking at my arse!"

Never seen him blush so much in the time ive been there! :D

[2E]

Hmmm, tooey, are you by any chance.... single? wouldnt be surprised if u are with lines like that!

Almost as good as my boss sayin "i like ur leathers, but they do make ur bum look big"

"Errrrmmm Thanks Oz, no surprise your still single, now stop looking at my arse!"

Never seen him blush so much in the time ive been there! :D

Actually im not, and i the exact line i used was

'Sorry, can you lean further over next time.. i didnt quite get a good look at your arse!'

:grin1 All you got to do is have the right way of saying things and any line would work.. well.. within reason! :grin2

[Ross]

the other day, out side work this guy yelled from is car to two nice ladys

''i'm lost how do i get to feel'um''

made me smile

[2E]

Your lips look lonely... Would they like to meet mine??

Are you lost? Because its a long way from heaven!!!

Ow! i bet it hurt when you fell from heaven!

[the captain]

dude...if i were a girl id punch you out if you used those tired old lines!!!

they gotta be in the top 5 for nasty cringe worthy chat up lines!:laugh1

[gsxr dude]

my name is fred flintstone - i cn make ur bed rock!

[ROCKET-1]

my **** is so long that i have the dictonery tatooed on it..you look speechless do you mind if i put some words in your mouth...:laugh2

[The Guvnor]

In my younger days ..lol.....I never used chat up lines !
Just find a girl you like.......spend the night drinking with the lads......end of the night walk up to her and say 'Sorry I havent got time to chat you up can we just kiss and then swap phone numbers ?'

Worked 9 times out of ten and if it dont.........you aint wasted a night out !!!:laugh1

[Mi5ter E]

lol i like your style Kev

[Tark]

"I'm not a professional goldsmith but I could sure stretch your ring."

[harriebird]

some of us don't need chat up lines :grin2 flattery gets you everywhere in my experience :skip

[kasandrich]

Would you like to feel my testicles.........






















....on your chin?

[SDM]

"I'm not a professional goldsmith but I could sure stretch your ring."

That one would be wasted at a Grab a Granny night :laugh1 :laugh1 :laugh1 :laugh1 :laugh1

[harriebird]

boys, please!!!!!! FFS! :grin2

[Lateshift]

whatever happened to "fancy going halves on a b*****d?" :D

or something like "do i get slapped if i grab yer tits?" :D


all this patter seems a waste to me to be honest :D

[SDM]

Has this one been said yet

Your teeth are like stars.............they come out at night

[kasandrich]

or something like "do i get slapped if i grab yer tits?" :D



....yer chuffin'well will if you grab mine!http://www.essexbikers.co.uk/forum/images/icons/icon10.gif......fine pair of Man-Breasts that they are! http://www.essexbikers.co.uk/forum/images/icons/icon10.gif

[DoodleBug]

FFS Kas, I was drinking my coffee then. Another keyboard gets soaked to death ;)

[kasandrich]

LOL! Sorry Doodles

[Lateshift]

this one always tended to work well for my mate

"i am going to leave you looking like a ripped out fireplace!" :D


or one of his other charmers

"i am going to leave you looking like a busted couch" :D

[Jetski]

Aaahhh - and there's me having forgotten just how romantic you can be.....

:laugh1 :D

[Tark]

If you like the big boned type of girls...

"How will I get you to bed? Will it be a Piece of cake?"

[harriebird]

cake works for me and i'm not particuarly big boned....

[Tark]

Is that a Hint? LOL

[harriebird]

in your dreams!

[MICKTLS]

sounds like a dating site instead of a forum lol

[Lateshift]

are you up for a bit of 2 in the goo 1 in the poo :D :D :D :D

[r6paul]

are you up for a bit of 2 in the goo 1 in the poo :D :D :D :D



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