Mathematics

[r6paul]

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that, while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bull**** and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

[chromium05]

^^ Not really one for the pub is it?

I find maths to be a ****er. Aged 14 I was told to stay away from school for a week (this is not a joke so don't wait for a punchline) for arguing with my maths teacher on the following:

We know that 36 inches is equal to a yard
So 9 inches is equal to a quarter of a yard
If the square root of 9 is 3
And the square root of a quarter is a half
That would mean that 3 inches is equal to half a yard.

He wouldn't have it. I wouldn't be told that it couldn't be.

And to top it off, in biology I concluded that a grasshoppers ears were in it legs because if I pulled it's legs off and shouted "Jump" at it, it wouldn't.