Lateshift
19-10-2006, 08:16 AM
Shamefully stolen from another forum but it gave me the first chuckle of the day :)
A pianist with Tourettes applies for a job at an upmarket cocktail bar. The manager invites him to play a piece as an audition which he duly does.The manager can hardly believe his ears, so beautiful is the rapturous melody emanating from the tinkling ivories. He compliments the pianist on his skills.
"That was the most beautiful piece of music I've ever heard, whats it called?"
The pianist replies: "Thank you very much, that's a composition of mine i call "I shagged your gran up the wrongun then wiped my ****ty cock on your curtains."
The manager replies "Look, you're the best pianist I've ever heard but that type of language is utterly unacceptable in an establishment like this. I will give you the job on condition you do not speak to any of the customers."
The pianist accepts and all goes well for a couple of months until one night a beautiful blonde is sitting close to him as he plays. Seduced by the music she makes the pianist an offer he can't refuse. During his break he follows the blonde to the toilets and wild lust ensues. After ten minutes the pianist realises he is overdue for his next performance so he hurriedly redresses and heads out to the piano. As he reaches the piano the manager stops him and asks...
"Do you know your knob is hanging out and you have spunk all over your trousers?"
To which the pianist replies.....
"Know it, I ****ing wrote it!"
:D :D :D
A pianist with Tourettes applies for a job at an upmarket cocktail bar. The manager invites him to play a piece as an audition which he duly does.The manager can hardly believe his ears, so beautiful is the rapturous melody emanating from the tinkling ivories. He compliments the pianist on his skills.
"That was the most beautiful piece of music I've ever heard, whats it called?"
The pianist replies: "Thank you very much, that's a composition of mine i call "I shagged your gran up the wrongun then wiped my ****ty cock on your curtains."
The manager replies "Look, you're the best pianist I've ever heard but that type of language is utterly unacceptable in an establishment like this. I will give you the job on condition you do not speak to any of the customers."
The pianist accepts and all goes well for a couple of months until one night a beautiful blonde is sitting close to him as he plays. Seduced by the music she makes the pianist an offer he can't refuse. During his break he follows the blonde to the toilets and wild lust ensues. After ten minutes the pianist realises he is overdue for his next performance so he hurriedly redresses and heads out to the piano. As he reaches the piano the manager stops him and asks...
"Do you know your knob is hanging out and you have spunk all over your trousers?"
To which the pianist replies.....
"Know it, I ****ing wrote it!"
:D :D :D