Chromium's Top Tips

[chromium05]

1. Never put an umbrella up indoors.

2. Never wear deodorant with a black t-shirt or shirt.

3. Never cum on your own belly.

4. Never bleed near a killer shark.

5. Moss is not a good substitute for parsley.

6. Never eat a pizza from the inside out.

7. Never confuse a single malt with a blend - you will die.

8. Never attempt to turn back time.

9. Horses do not like jam. But they love Jammie Dodgers.

10. Unless you are gay, never stick 2 fingers up at a Greek fella - it means you want to ufck them.


Remember these tips for a more fulfilling lifestyle...

[bayonet]

I seem to remember one that went something like,

'Why not put all the disabled parking bays furthest from the door of the supermarket. That way the disabled people won't have to put up with able bodied people taking up their spaces.'

also,

'When looking at lots of application forms for a job you have advertised, take half the forms and throw them into the bin. This stops you accidentally employing an unlucky person.'

[beanboy]

A few of my own:

In the begining I had a dream
if I lost it all now I would stil have that dream
(lesson in self belief)

There are no insumountable hills in life
merely paths to exercise the brain and soul
(resolution to obsticles in life)


Happy are the chilrden in there ingnorance
but ingnorant are the adult is theres
(Golden rules of happiness)


Extract from the The Buddha of Hornchurch
Available in all good book shops:reading